gbarn

Diffusing Wrong Side of Bed Syndrome

Not to long ago I was going through one of those fast food lines to buy a cup of coffee and a breakfast meal and the line in front of me was about three cars. The person in front of me appeared to be in a hurry tapping on the steering wheel in what appeared to be agitation.

When the person in front of me got to the window I observed an argument between the clerk in the window and the driver in front of me, both were yelling, pointing at each other and leaning toward each other. Eventually the driver drove away with an order and hurried out of the driveway.

I approached the window with a smile noticing the attitude of the clerk was, I will describe as fuming and angry.

I spoke to her with a smile and asked if all was OK, she answered with a forced smile saying “OK but some people just don't get it”. I smiled at her and said, leaning toward her window, “come closer” and as she came closer I said still smiling, “remember the people coming through may be hungry and when people are hungry they don't seem to think straight”.

She backed away, looked at me and broke into a big grin and said, “you are right and that person must have been very hungry”.

As she brought me my order I said to her, “remember also, when people are hungry they can also be very dangerous so keep smiling OK”.

Her anger by now had left and she broke into a big laugh and said, “I'll remember that”.

This is a true story and I like to think I make that young lady's day, that day. I also like to think she may also make someone else's day as a result of what I told her.

You see it is the relationships you share with people that makes a difference in your life as well as others. As a mentor, coach and organizer I find that dealing with people is mostly a matter of how they perceive you and what they think they get out of a relationship with you.

I have come to think in terms of what can I do that will cause someone, anyone to feel they get something from me in the few moments, hours or days they are in my company. Should they leave my presence feeling I gave them something than I think they will be thinking of me in a positive way and should there come a need for my services or input they will remember that I gave and did not take anything from them. Knowing that I am a giver will help influence them to call on me when they are in need of whatever I give and refer others to me for my services.

This is a simple form of networking. The observation here is whether I am doing all this to gain a service call or doing this because I think it is the right thing to do and also do I enjoy doing it.

The key here is if you are just leaning the art of networking and want to build on your relationship skills you first have to evaluate yourself and decide if you want to build a relationship for the express purpose of having someone to call you for service needs or for the purpose of having someone to call you because you enjoy giving services.

Those who are experienced will know without the enjoyment your network will be limited.

Self evaluation is not something you do easily and therefore you may need some other person to give you an unbiased opinion of your position regarding relationships with others and how you go about handling those relationships.

Should you find you are not one that enjoys helping others you may what to find a coach or mentor to help you find out why and guide you toward the joys of giving and helping.

Back to the incident with the driver in the car in front of me at the fast food place, had I had an opportunity to talk with her I would want to know how her morning got started and what her day schedule was going to be like.

Knowing these things would help guide her in not making the same mistake again, that is “never argue with those who prepare or serve you your food” and “how to handle things you can't control”.

I am sure she had other things on her mind rather that having to wait to receive her order that morning and that the clerk nor the other drivers in front of her was in any way responsible for her way of thinking at that time.

Given these two individuals and their situation I feel that one was informed somewhat how to diffuse the next situation like this and just may be able to help that unknown third person who could have as we say got up on the wrong side of the bed.

Wouldn't it be great if all of us took the time to think about the other person and their situation in our relationships. Would this not help us build more relationships and thereby build a broader network of people we know, work with, or come into contact with in our daily environment.

From a business standpoint if we build more relationships, a broader network, does it not stand to reason that we will also have more people that refer us, buy from us, do business with us and just make us more profitable thereby increasing our assets or value.

As a life coach and mentor I like helping those who have a desire for my services be it over the phone, email or in person. This helps me and them to help others and builds relationships and broader net works. It in most cases helps them increase there assets too.

Where do you fit in, are you a net-worker or did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this day?